Quitting grad school felt like failing—but it gave me an opportunity to grow

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Quitting grad school felt like failing—but it gave me an opportunity to grow
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“The notion that one should never fail is toxic and only creates fear.” ScienceWorkingLife

When I started graduate school, everything looked bright. As an undergraduate in China, I felt lucky and honored that a South Korean professor visiting my university offered me a place in his lab for a Ph.D. It seemed like an amazing opportunity to get international research experience. But soon things started to go downhill. The stipend was just enough to cover food, rent, and some necessary bills.

Eventually I went to the doctor for a physical. To my relief, my HIV test was negative. But the results weren’t all good news. Many of my metabolite levels were abnormal, likely because of my high-carb diet. I also had high cholesterol, possibly because of stress. It was becoming clear that my situation was not healthy or sustainable.University of Tennessee, Knoxville

Soon, though, I reached my breaking point. I went to my adviser and told him I couldn’t continue. To my surprise, he wasn’t disappointed in me; instead he said he felt sorry for what I was going through and regretted he hadn’t stepped in earlier. I realized one more mistake I made was keeping my problems to myself.

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