In newyorkerhumor, one woman’s gut gives up after too many gas-station hot dogs. (edited)
After repeatedly telling me not to take that job, or to make out with that guy, or to Google “bloating cancer symptom?” for the fifth time in a week, my gut decided that I was better off dead.
My gut watched “The Matrix” and realized that we’re most likely all living inside of a simulation so none of this matters anyway. That may sound depressing, but actually it opened up my gut’s eyes a lot. My gut had a long talk with its therapist and decided to set some boundaries, which included no longer digesting things that “don’t serve its needs.” Like edibles, coffee, frozen Trader Joe’s pizza, or alcohol, which comprise ninety per cent of my diet.My gut has been ignored for a long time. It’s been trying to guide me and tell me things, but its voice has been overpowered, time and time again.
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