'I personally don’t like to think that there’s competition in the music industry with girls in my field now,' says rinasawayama, who has successful friends and contemporaries like Charli XCX releasing the albums of their careers.
was too scared to leave her house in south-west London.
As the sessions began to throw up complicated feelings, she began to consider whether her second album could be used to process these. “The new kind of therapy really opened up new points of exploration and I really wanted to see whether I could make those things into a pop song,” she says. When writing with her long-term collaborator Lauren Aquilina, they would talk through her therapy and together musically translate different problems and discoveries.
Likewise, Sawayama turned 30 during the pandemic, celebrating with an intimate six-person gathering, following the UK’s short-lived ‘’. It’s an age she’s enjoying: “It’s that newfound confidence that you have in yourself when you hit 30. You just care less about what other people think about you.” “Thinking about putting your mental health first is scary as a freelancer, because I’m a freelancer as well,” she says of being selective about work opportunities and work load. “I personally don’t like to think that there’s competition in the music industry with girls in my field now. It’s easy to start to buy into that narrative so much that if you don’t do this, someone else will. But I try not to engage in that any more.
She has known for years that she needs to prioritise self-care and to refuse excessive work but it’s only recently that she’s felt able to say no. It’s about being able to split yourself in two and have mental conversations with yourself as if you’re a softer second person, I offer. Exactly, she says, “Once I got to that part of re-parenting myself and treating myself as a ‘we’ and being like ‘Do you need to do this?’ And if it’s a no then it’s a no.
The song specifically is a celebration of her relationship with her mother. “It’s about how we’ve kind of caught each other in the air at different times in our lives, and how intense single parenthood can be. Just celebrating that partnership because when you [have] a single mum, they’re your sister and your child at the same time. Just writing about the complications of that from an adult perspective.
“Now I know how it feels to be a fan of someone [who] didn’t fucking give a shit about us… It was drinking and lad culture 2.0; peoplegive a shit and that was part of the aesthetic. I remember queuing up at Brixton Academy at 9am. [I] just try to give a lot more love to my fans than The Bravery ever did. No shade but it’s true.”
“I’ve just been so fascinated with the feeling of escapism that country music has. It’s very homey, but for a Brit, it sounds like the big Wild West,” says Sawayama. “It’s quite random for a Japanese-British artist to make country music, but I never really care about those kinds of things. I just want to have fun.
“Before the pandemic, no one recognised me ever, I could just go out in the streets looking like shit and now it’s very, very different,” she says carefully, adding that she’s usually approached in central London, but it’s even happened on the road where she lives, which triggered privacy concerns. “I actually had to go back into talk therapy when I first started getting recognised because of the anxiety of not seeing anyone, almost getting agoraphobia by not leaving the house.
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