Secret Service Adds Emotional Protection Division To Safeguard Trump’s Psyche

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Secret Service Adds Emotional Protection Division To Safeguard Trump’s Psyche
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WASHINGTON—In an effort to respond to the vast and ever-changing dangers faced by the nation’s commander-in-chief, Secret Service administrators announced Wednesday the creation of an Emotional Protection Division to safeguard President Donald Trump’s psyche.

The new unit’s three dozen agents, who have undergone rigorous training to prepare for their challenging role, will be charged with defending the 45th president’s psychological well-being around the clock, investigating foreign and domestic threats to his self-esteem and quickly intercepting any spoken or written criticisms before they can harm his pride.

“All of our agents stand ready to lay down their lives to ensure nothing can hurt President Trump’s feelings.” “All of our agents stand ready to lay down their lives to ensure nothing can hurt President Trump’s feelings,” he added. According to officials, the Secret Service is reportedly conducting careful background checks on White House visitors to look for any red flags, such as A-list celebrities who might choose to decline a photo op with Trump.

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