Once a child bride, Afghan mother says her kids are stuck with her abusive husband, far from Houston
Safinaz Aria hoped her life as a refugee would be easier, but the turmoil she endured, beginning within weeks of arriving in Houston, has been an unthinkable new trauma in an unfamiliar culture, language and setting. Her story lays bare the difficulties that immigrant survivors of domestic violence face while they navigate custody battles against their partners.
She’s a low-income woman who fled the Taliban, speaks limited English and has no connections in the U.S. Her husband has money, speaks English fluently and is well-established in the country.“There’s only so many hearings that your lawyer can do limited funds,” said Maricarmen Garza, chief of programs at the Tahirih Justice Center, which serves immigrant survivors of gender-based violence and persecution.
Safinaz Aria also lacks the physical evidence of her alleged repeated domestic abuse — even her own government ID undermines her case. She said she’s actually 28, not 31, like her ID says — her husband allegedly changed her official age from 15 to 18 so they could move to Dubai together when she was still a minor.
She said Ahmad would come and go as he pleased from the house in the United Arab Emirates and was absent for months at a time. She said he sent her pictures of his girlfriends while she raised their three children. She also said that when her son was 3 or 4, her husband slapped the boy’s face, telling him to be more manly.She said the only person she discussed the abuse with was her mother-in-law, who told her this was between husband and wife and not to get anyone else involved.
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