Love Stories is a series about love in all its forms, with new essays appearing until Valentine’s Day.
Almost a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of four-and-a-half years. I was 36. It was mutual, and as loving as it could be, but it’s always scary to get out of a relationship. Ya know, because of the whole “Am I going to die alone?” issue.
But then something weird happened. In the span of a month, I went out with three different guys who casually dropped that, at some point in their lives, they’d worked on a farm. That couldn’t be a coincidence. I couldn’t think of the last time I’d seen a farmer, let alone slept with three in quick succession. One of them was building a cabin in the woods with his bare hands. Another had climbed a mountain that I can’t remember the name of.
At 18, I moved away to London, then Brooklyn, where this type of man might as well have been extinct. I started dating vegetarians who carried little notebooks and drank gin gimlets. It felt exciting and exotic—how soft their hands were! These men felt more evolved, intellectual, and, like ... rich. They were above installing an air conditioner. You can pay someone for that! They were busy circling back on emails.
One of the first times he slept over, I woke up to the sound of drilling. I walked out to find him fixing my bathroom door, which had been coming off its hinges, with a drill he just casually had in his truck. I stared at him, mesmerized. “How do you know how to do that?” He looked confused. “I’m nearly 40 years old,” he said. “I know how to use a drill.”
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