Vicarious trauma is real. Here's what parents and caregivers should look for in their children — and how they can help.
“The important questions are: Is my child having reactions beyond what they usually display? Is my child taking in comfort and support like they normally do?Or, is something out of normal range happening for them?” Means said.In other words, some of these signs might be normal if they occur shortly after the traumatic news event and then begin to subside. But if your child seems stuck in these patterns, they might require additional intervention.
“In older children, who may want to better conceal their fears, it may be expressed as a simple question of ‘What time do you think you’ll be back?’ or a text message asking ‘Where are you?’” Makepeace said.“For all ages, you might sense feelings of apprehension or anxiety being evoked from your child when being dropped off or left somewhere, such as school,” Makepeace added.
Your child might also lose interest in things they usually enjoy. Maybe they no longer want to go to baseball practice or art class, or seem unusually reserved.Your child may have a thinner skin than usual. Things that wouldn’t normally upset them may set them off. “When working with families, I will often hear a parent say, ‘You never told me,’ and the child will respond by saying, ‘You never asked,’ Makepeace said. “Ask, ask, ask!”
Makepeace said it’s best to avoid telling kids “there’s nothing to be afraid of,” as that kind of language, while well-intentioned, can minimize what they’re feeling. “For teens and older children, it’s important to talk with them about making intentional choices to limit social media exposure to protect their own emotional well-being,” Bartlett added.Activities that will help them regulate their emotions — spending time outside, dancing, deep breathing, drawing and journaling — all can be good, positive outlets.Routines provide children with a sense of safety, comfort and predictability when the world feels anything but.
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