ATLANTA—Urging parents to learn about the dangers lurking in the enchanted forest, a new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found Monday that the leading cause of childhood obesity was malevolent witches fattening up children with an intention to eat them. “Our findings show that more and more young Americans have been wandering into the woods, only to be accosted by an old, magical crone who wants nothing more than to plump them up like a piggie and get them ready for stew,” said CDC chief of staff Kyle McGowen, noting a strong statistical correlation between rising BMI percentages and children eating all the Turkish delight, bread pudding, and homemade taffy that their little hearts desire. “Unfortunately, the correlation between excess weight gain and being placed in a steaming cauldron by a witch while she hand-feeds you cherry pie and cackles is extremely high. And what’s worse, by the time these children find themselves on a dinner platter with an apple shoved in their mouths, it’s already too late.” While McGowen emphasized that there was no quick fix to this epidemic, he advised children to leave a trail of breadcrumbs wherever they go, just in case.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
Similar News:Du kan også lese nyheter som ligner på denne som vi har samlet inn fra andre nyhetskilder.
Wearing a virtual reality headset eases the pain of labor, new study findsA first-of-its-kind study has provided new evidence that wearing a virtual reality headset during labor can reduce pain levels and heart rates for moms.
Les mer »
Pete Buttigieg surges to small lead in New Hampshire amid post-Iowa bounce, new poll findsAfter Iowa, Buttigieg is riding a wave of momentum into New Hampshire, climbing 14 percentage points in the same Suffolk tracking poll since Monday.
Les mer »
Romney, vilified by Trump and his allies for voting to convict, finds respect back homeSen. Romney, vilified in DC for vote to convict President Trump, finds respect and support back home. NBCNews interviewed dozens of Utah residents to find out what they thought about their senator bucking the GOP on impeachment. - lauren_V_Egan
Les mer »
NATO's image worsens sharply in France, United States, study showsNATO's public image in the United States and France worsened sharply last y...
Les mer »
Romney, vilified in D.C. for vote to convict Trump, finds respect, support back homeSen. Romney, vilified in DC for vote to convict President Trump, finds respect and support back home. NBCNews interviewed dozens of Utah residents to find out what they thought about their senator bucking the GOP on impeachment. - lauren_V_Egan
Les mer »