In this week's episode of 'Cover Story,' Lily Kay Ross recounts her trip to the Ecuadoran Amazon to host iO Tillet Wright
Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photos: Provided In the second episode of Cover Story, Lily Kay Ross recounts her trip to the Ecuadoran Amazon to the podcast’s host, iO Tillet Wright. Relating the multiple instances of rape and sexual abuse she experienced at the hands of an ayahuasca shaman and the aftermath when she decided to come forward, Ross portrays a community unwilling to support her or confront its own systemic issues.
Subscribe on: Apple Podcast Google Podcast Spotify To hear more about Ross’s harrowing experience in the Amazon, listen and follow on Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen, and find the full transcript below. Wright: On the off chance that you’ve never heard of Burning Man, picture 50,000 people in thongs and goggles and furry leg warmers on technicolor Mad Max bicycles, dancing and tripping in the middle of the Nevada desert. All vehicles there have to be approved by the DMV, the Department of Mutant Vehicles. I am not kidding. Hundred-foot sculptures of sharks and fantasy creatures roll through a temporary city erected and deconstructed every year in celebration of radical self-expression.
Wright: In 2012, she got a grant to go for the summer. She’s going to be working with a local guy who is leading the project there. Wright: First, T sits her down and talks to her about the village — how their whole way of life is under threat and that her role is to document it. Then he takes Lily to a hut with nothing but a little bed and a pallet for her stuff and she finally gets to sleep. Two days later, she finds T doing a kind of cleansing plant bath on some of the men in the community. It’s a ceremonial thing, and he wants to do one on her.
I couldn’t move. I was physically incapable of moving my body and I had no concept of what was happening. He was sitting behind me and had wrapped his arm around my neck and he was humping me, he was trying to kiss me, he was… I was totally frozen. It took me about 10 minutes from my sense of time to collect myself and to turn away from him, which I finally did. And then he kind of got up and laughed and got into his bed and went to sleep.
Ross: I was utterly dependent on him, terrified to be away from him, terrified to be near him as well. Bewitched? Ross: I was trying to get somebody to help me. But I wasn’t in a place where I could articulate, “I think I need help.” Ross: I got this email from Ainlay Dixon and it says: “Hey Lily, I’ve been wondering about sending this email for a while and finally decided to do it.”
Ross: Some of what they said was too fantastical to believe, such as being “mixed up in trading shrunken heads” and a “local leader being killed when he tried to investigate.” Ross: “I’ve just heard from the doctors and my dad’s in the hospital and there’s something wrong with his prostate and I’m scared and they don’t know what’s wrong…”
Dave Nickles presenting at the 2012 Psychedemia conference, where he met Lily Kay Ross. Photo: Provided Ross: My dad picked me up from the airport and I remember how warm his hug was. I got home, took a shower, and did everything I could to just feel normal. I put on my favorite clothes and my favorite earrings and tried to do what I could to have a sense of my identity and feel like myself again.Ross: Like, was this a consensual relationship? There were periods where I did resist it.
But after that conversation with her dad and her research, Lily was clear: this man had used his authority as a shaman, in combination with drugs, to control and rape her. The idea of someone, anywhere, of any culture, using these drugs to control another person, makes me think of something Dr. Grob said. Remember that UCLA researcher who took us to Mr.
Wright: Basically, Dr. Grob was warning me that these drugs can be tools to manipulate people, whether among all the different groups in the Amazon or in the overwhelmingly white underground world of psychedelics that Lily was part of. And that was the worry that started to bubble up for Lily after she came out of the very dark hole she was stuck in.
Wright: The Guild of Guides — aka The Convivium — is that underground conference where people who practice psychedelic therapy met to discuss their work. Some of these people were saying things that messed with Lily’s mind. Wright: An “old story?” That’s been going on from the beginning? Meaning there are rapists in our midst? And everyone knows it? When she put that chain of thoughts together, another part of Lily’s brain kicked in. The skeptical, questioning part. The part of her that, throughout all her years in the psychedelic underground, had been a little concerned about certain dynamics between guides and their clients.
“There are a few reported deaths now from Ayahuasca in Peru and Ecuador and increasing reports of sexual transgressions and rape. If we are not willing to address this, what does this say about us as a community who love psychedelic plant medicines and what they have to offer us? If we don’t talk about this, if we are silent, are we not then complicit?”
Wright: When we talked to this woman, she said that none of this sounds like something she would say and that at the time, she didn’t know that many women were being victimized, though she added that the more she’s looked over the years, the more she knows.
Wright: Lily spent the next few years out of the scene, basically researching why even nice people who mean well will blame rape victims. Wright: Heal this within yourself. As in: don’t think about the system. During her studies, years after she left the psychedelic world, Lily came to understand it as total bullshit. And then, one day, deep into her Ph.D. research, she gets this email from a stranger. It was a group email, sent to a bunch of people, but it landed hard with Lily, and it’s the reason this show exists.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
Similar News:Du kan også lese nyheter som ligner på denne som vi har samlet inn fra andre nyhetskilder.
Before we continue... - The Lily
Les mer »
'West Side Story': Why Ariana DeBose Is the Perfect AnitaSteven Spielberg gushes about ArianaDeBose and reveals why she is the perfect Anita: 'I saw somebody who had tremendous personal charisma.' WestSideStory
Les mer »
The Story Behind Christian Dior’s Iconic ‘Miss Dior’ DressIn the new book ‘Miss Dior: A Story of Courage and Couture,’ author Justine Picardie puts the focus on designer Christian Dior’s youngest sister—and shares the story behind his signature dress.
Les mer »
‘West Side Story’ Reportedly Banned In Six Gulf Countries Because Of Transgender CharacterReports say Disney refused to cut scenes involving a transgender character.
Les mer »
An ancient rice bowl complicates the story of civilisation in IndiaNo one disputes that the Tamils have a long and illustrious past. Less certain is the suggestion that Tamils represent the oldest thread in the Indian subcontinent’s complex tapestry of cultures
Les mer »