You do the activity first and then you have the sex, and you do it like that even if everyone involved knows the activity is going to make the sex-having less enjoyable at best and physically difficult or impossible at worst. It’s time to change your ways
Photo: Weegee/Getty Images Last summer, I found myself being led through Williamsburg by the hand, on the way to the apartment of Matthew, a guy I had been seeing, casually and happily, for a couple months. It was 90 degrees out at 9 p.m., and I was full of the Commodore’s fried-chicken thighs and mad as hell.
All that was going to happen in spite of the fact that it was objectively pretty gross to do it after the evening we just had — but, for fairly antiquated reasons, that’s how most people conceive of a respectable date. The modern order of romantic operations has its roots in traditional courtship rituals, where chaste outside activities were planned in order for a couple to build a meaningful relationship before marriage.
Eating, drinking, and a combination of the two are by far the most common date activities, especially in the first few months of seeing someone, and the people I asked all expressed varying degrees of dissatisfaction with how they affect sex when done in the traditional order. My roommate Jenny, 27, got a thousand-yard stare for a moment before murmuring, “The salad. When I was single, I always ordered a salad.
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