The creators of the documentary TV series “Couples Therapy” knew that they needed to build their show around the right person: someone who possessed both sterling professional credentials and a magnetic, binge-worthy charisma. Enter Orna Guralnik.
“I do. I feel there’s a lot of ‘he said, she said,’ right?” Ping says. “But what’s missing is—”“Yeah, exactly,” Ping says.
Fine, Guralnik says. But “you’re too good at this role for it not to be well rehearsed.” Looking at the past might help them understand why they’re so stuck in the present. “Is that of interest to you?”“O.K.,” Will says. “So where do we start?” Psychoanalysts generally keep their personal lives hidden from patients, the better to encourage transference: the phenomenon, described by Freud, in which a patient directs the intense feelings generated by a formative relationship onto the blank slate of a therapist. Even before the pandemic, Guralnik had made the surprising decision to allow cameras to follow her outside the consulting room, as she took walks with Nico, or headed into the subway, coffee in hand.
Guralnik is a proponent of systems theory, an approach to psychology that looks both at a person’s interior world and at the way interpersonal dynamics affect behavior and identity. A couple is a system. So is a family. One member might be called upon to serve as the “identified patient,” the scapegoat for all the problems; another might become the designated therapist. Growing up, Guralnik played the second role.
As Guralnik got older, she began to notice a shift within her parents’ relationship. Nehama had a major career as a curator at the Tel Aviv Museum of Art, but Daniel was accustomed to taking priority. The family had one car; he drove it to work. Nehama started to push back. “I really watched them go through a rearrangement of a very patriarchal understanding of their marriage to a more feminist one, which was not easy,” Guralnik said. “I didn’t have the language for it yet. But I could see it.
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