Umbrellas Are a Sham NationalUmbrellaDay
It's because the umbrella industrial complex, or something, has tricked us all into believing that a pole with a sheet of fabric on top is an effective way to stay dry in a downpour. It's because I refuse to be a Sheep.and kept poking strangers in the eye with spokes when I tried to use an umbrella—and, by God, I tried!—but, anyway. I digress.
There are two types of rain. I don't know what the fancy ~meteorologist~ terms for them are, but I'm going to name them Rain You Can Handle and Rain You Really, Really Can't. Rain You Can Handle is tropical rain, a light drizzle, a gentle spitting, a soft tickling of rain droplets. I don't want to brag about being from England, but, being from England, I am more familiar than most with this variety of weather. You can get groceries in Rain You Can Handle. You can walk the dog. Some days, you'll barely even notice it's raining.Rain You Really, Really Can't, meanwhile, is what you Americans call a"rainstorm." A downpour.
In Rain You Can Handle, you don't need an umbrella. In Rain You Really, Really Can't, nothing you do is going to keep you dry. Actually, go ahead, you can putI do understand that I've blown your mind here. That your belief system about being a human with an umbrella in the rain, about being a human in the rain,, has been shattered.
Will writing this get you in hot water with the corporate goons of Big Umbrella? If so, what will they do to you?Jenny is Marie Claire’s Director of Content Strategy, editing and writing about everything from politics to reality television to accessories and celebrity news.
Norge Siste Nytt, Norge Overskrifter
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