“It helped me to get more in tune with myself spiritually, mentally and emotionally, and it really helped me to get my mind together and to focus on everything that I’m trying to do.”
“People never understand why you’re choosing to live this way, especially if you’re a guy,” Dyson said. “Having to explain it all the time is grating and draining, and it’s hard not to feel lonely when the bed is so cold at night. But I know I’ve made the right choice for me. It’s done some good for my health, physically and mentally.”Many people who choose celibacy struggle with sexual urges, and some may feel guilt or shame when they give in and have sex, then return to celibacy.
Journaling can also help clarify which types of sexual experiences you want to have, which you want to avoid, and which you may be willing to consider. You can create three columns on a sheet of paper and title them “Yes,” “No,” and “Maybe So.” Then write which experiences or activities fall into those slots.Celibacy is about choosing what you want.
“Celibacy isn’t an inherently better or worse sexual option than other options. Sexual wellness, which can include celibacy as an option, is about deciding what works for you and your partner,” Hargons said. For now, Dyson is satisfied with his choice. “I don’t have anyone to hug and say ‘I love you,’ but I don’t always need that. And I think it’s done me some good to go without it. Maybe one day I’ll find the man of my dreams, and I’ll finally say ‘I do,’ and I’ll live happily ever after. I might also get divorced or abused or both. I’m not denying the magic of love, but for now, I’m me. Just me. And I’m OK with that.
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