What My Mother Really Meant When She Fussed About My Hair

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What My Mother Really Meant When She Fussed About My Hair
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'The parental urge to sweep hair out of children’s faces isn’t “your hair needs fixing.”' Joy Hui Lin writes. 'It also means, “Your face is dear to me.”

"The parental urge to sweep hair out of children’s faces isn’t solely “your hair is messy and needs fixing.”" Joy Hui Lin writes."It also can mean, “Every feature of your face is so dear to me.”One spring in Milan, my then partner and I discussed whether Italians first loved to cultivate beautiful gardens, or if the ease of plentiful sunshine and fertile growing conditions led to the pastime.

Hello Kitty barrettes and knuckle-smacking bobbles characterized the coifs of my primary school years, and though I didn’t know it at the time, my neurdivergent brain didn’t register the same social cues and subsequent pressures other teenage girls underwent in high school.

During the rare times I venture to a hair salon, when my hair is at its wildest, the stylist inevitably asks to straighten it. Knowing I’m about to pay, tip, and thank someone for a haircut I will cry over in the car afterward, I nod, surrendering to the fact that good haircuts for wavy hair may as well come around as often as the blossoming of corpse flowers in my lifetime.

Two of my nieces have similar “barometric-sensitive” hair. Whenever we spy slight curls on their napes, the family muses their hair is like mine. I coach the 11-year-old in suitable hair products and habits so she can get ahead of the curve, but like her auntie, she’s more likely to wrap it into a ponytail out of lack of interest and jump on her skateboard.

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