“If I’m in a crowded room or something, and people see me on the laptop or iPad, they just won’t talk to me,” says TPAIN. “That’s my socially awkward hack”
. I go down every aisle and buy the most ridiculous stuff. Most of it just stays in the box in a closet somewhere in my house. But one time I was in the wine section at Target — I was on a heavyat the time — and I’m so bad at getting cork out of wine. I don’t know how it works. I can’t grasp the concept of it.
The Houdini thing said it was an electric wine opener, and it actually works. You get your wine open in about ten seconds, and you don’t have all the pieces of cork in the wine bottle like when I do it. My favorite wine right now is Chateau Ste. Michelle. Supercheap, $9 a bottle, in and out. Three bottles, and you’ll have yourself a pretty good time at night, or any time. You can do stupid shit at a reasonable hour.