What The Hell Am I Supposed to Do With This Shit?

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What The Hell Am I Supposed to Do With This Shit?
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  • 📰 Jezebel
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Personally, panic within usually lies dormant until the masses around me ratchet theirs up to a decibel that feels like nails on a chalkboard, a crying baby, a jackhammer, or the insistent drone of a garbage truck idling outside my bedroom window. A week ago, I did not feel panic. One day later, I fell prey to jangling nerves and tooted myself to the grocery store. What I found wasn’t great!

On my way out of my house, I was greeted by a neighbor, lugging a reusable shopping bag full of paper towels. “It’s chaos out there,” she said. “Do NOT go to Whole Foods. I have never seen lines like this in my entire life.” We chatted for a few moments, as I was grateful to speak to another person that was not my sibling with whom I live or my roommate, and I ambled on my merry way.

so that I can hit my targets, avoid distractions like pre-packaged flan, and get the hell out. This efficiency, of which I am very proud, flew out the window immediately once I set foot in the grocery store. A harried worker handed me a basket, after dutifully removing a stray onion skin from its depths. My crucial mistake, however, was going to the store without a list or a plan; my second mistake was going to the store at 5 p.

seconds, and then throwing them into my cart. Mushrooms: sure. A section of a calabeza squash. Nary a green vegetable. Some onions. After peeking down the meat aisle and discovering hordes of people squeezing styrofoam packages of hot Italian sausage and shoving giant rump roasts into their carts, I paused in front of the vegan meat aisle and considered jackfruit. I passed. Now is not the time to experiment, I told myself. Do it when this is over.

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