One expert says dating sans alcohol can lead to 'deeper connections.'
, agrees that the pandemic is the most likely cause behind the shift in drinking-while-dating habits."We've had a lot of calls from people who [said], 'Look, I need to work on my dating life, because I realized that I want a life partner,'" she explains."I think that people are, in some cases, getting more serious about finding their partner, and they want to do it in a way that is healthy and very clear-eyed.
Convinced? Not so convinced? We talked to Engle about the ins and outs of dry dating, how to know if it's right for you, and some anxiety-coping mechanisms that could replace your usual drinks.We usually think of dry dating as dating without alcohol, but it actually means dating withouttype of substance , Engle says.
Staying sober can help you keep a clear mind on a date."You're really seeing the person across from you clearly," Engle says, and you are better able to judge how deep your connection really is."If we have a substance in our systems, we're not our perhaps truest self," she explains."We don't actually get to use that experience to gauge whether we're a good fit with the other person." Staying sober might help you be more authentic.
All of this said, dry dating also comes with some challenges, as well. While these aren't necessarily meant to discourage you from dry dating, it's worth noting where you might have some difficulty so it won't feel like a surprise attack when some social anxiety pops up or an awkward situation arises. According to Engle, some of the difficulties of dry dating could include:Drinking lowers our inhibitions and often makes us feel more sexy and self-assured.
Of course, it's normal to feel a bit unsure about actually trying dry dating, especially if you tend to lean on alcohol or other substances to help you relax or. Luckily, Engle says,"there are a lot of other ways to relax, and there are so many practices that can allow us to be present and grounded with another person." It might take more effort, she says, but"it does set us up for more relational success in the long run.
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