'I had to unlearn it because it never was okay.'
admits that he used to think that he was the “main character” in his marriage and was once a clueless husband who just didn’t understand why his wife was always frustrated.
He explained, “Say we'd be going on a trip, my partner at that point in time would be doing the laundry, vacuuming the house, making sure the dishes were done. I would think, I would literally think like, ‘Well, yeah, we don't have to do that. That'sHe goes on to say that once his wife had quite literally donefor the trip, he would then pack his little backpack or suitcase and that’d be it. “Looking back, like... how could I possibly think that was okay?” he asked.
“I saw my own father do this quite a bit where he would take care of his own needs. So, I know I didn't learn it from nowhere. But I also had to unlearn it because it never was okay. I thought that my role was to do all these things outside of the home and that the home was women's domain. I saw that modeled and even taught as the way it should be, but, oh my gosh, is that not partnership? And that sucks,” he said.
Fisher’s video went viral, gaining 3.1 million views in just 24 hours, with thousands of comments from users thanking him for being so honest about his mistakes as a husband and for the archaic gender roles he perpetuated in his marriage. Another wrote, “Every time I told my ex my needs — he would respond with why he couldn’t meet my needs because it was all about how he felt about everything.”Another wife wrote, “I need this realization from my husband. We’ve been married 20 yrs and he doesn’t know me at all. I keep the real me to myself.”
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