A letter-writer wonders whether a seemingly thoughtless gift ever counts as an insult.
I try to give thoughtful gifts, and these crummy gifts seem to convey a message: I don’t care enough about you to give you a nice gift. How should I react when I receive such a gift?To yourself: “Thank you, my strange friends, whom I love despite your utter ineptitude at gift-giving.”And yes, a gift can be an insult, but it is optional whether you accept it as one. I’d base it on context, not the gift itself.
And if he keeps questioning you: “I hesitate to respond, because I sense you’re looking for a specific answer. I’m also not an expert, so I’d like to understand more about what you need before I say anything else.”· With my mid-20s daughter, when she asks a question [like this], I always ask her, “Do you want my opinion, do you want me to just listen, or is there something else you would like me to do?” This has made a huge difference in our communication.
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