At first, the 'kind narcissist' seems like a generous, attentive person. The trouble arises once more is asked of them than they want to give.
who acts concerned about the welfare of an elderly parent while resisting any real contribution to that parent’s care. If you push back on this behavior, you’ll be met with wounded eyes, defensiveness, and an accusation that “No matter what I do, you’re never happy.”
But where a kind narcissist is really exposed, unsurprisingly, is during long-term romantic partnerships. Especially after children. It’s hard to imagine a life experience better designed to put pressure on the system than having a baby. While the kind narcissist’s self-centeredness can often be masked in the beginning phases of a relationship or before there are any heavy responsibilities or tough times, eventually, the wheels come off.
They’d met in graduate school, and Meredith had immediately been taken by Jack’s sunny, generous demeanor. “He always seemed like the first guy to jump in and help out. I thought he’d be an amazing partner. All everyone says about Jack is how nice he is, what a great dad, that I’m so lucky to have him. But it’s for show. He does exactly what he wants to do and doesn’t lift a finger otherwise. I’m exhausted, and I’m done.
Two weeks earlier, Jack came home after spending the day playing baseball with friends. Meredith was in the kitchen making dinner, both kids at her feet. She asked Jack to take the kids while she finished up. Jack agreed but said he wanted to change his clothes first. Fifteen minutes later, he still hadn’t emerged.
In the kitchen, Meredith was draining pasta, holding their toddlers out of the way of the boiling water, putting her body between the kids and the sink. When she turned back around, both kids were covered in marinara sauce. “I cleaned up the kids, and I knew that Jack was just in the bedroom, laying on the bed, looking at his phone, ignoring the chaos in the kitchen. And suddenly, I knew that this was never going to change.
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