Dear Care and Feeding: One of My Twins Outshines the Other

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Dear Care and Feeding: One of My Twins Outshines the Other
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My daughter is crushed that her twin sister has taken up the sport she always thought of as “hers.”

We have twin 15-year-old daughters. “Kaley” has always been pretty into team sports through school—soccer, volleyball, and basketball—while “Jenna” played an extremely niche club sport outside of school. This worked out well for our family. It allowed Kaley and Jenna to have “separate spheres” so to speak and to be able to flourish/excel in their own respective arenas.

Help! How can I support Slate so I can keep reading all the advice from Dear Prudence, Care and Feeding, Ask a Teacher, and How to Do It? Answer:My 10-year-old goes to a private school that is known for being very socially progressive. We love this! He is aware of many social issues and very respectful of others’ differences. However, we are dealing with an incident that I’m hoping you can help us understand and/or resolve.

On the other hand, impact always outweighs intent—so you did the right thing by apologizing on behalf of your son, but I also think it’s important that your son apologize to Tay as well. I would imagine it must be really tough for Tay to navigate through life right now, and a major facet of allyship is admitting when you’ve made a mistake. It doesn’t need to be huge production, either. Just a simple, “Hey, Tay—I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable the other day.

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