Don’t ask permission to drink around your sober friends. Instead, try to create an atmosphere of inclusion so non-drinking guests feel comfortable.
Although I have been sober for seven years, a room full of people with alcoholic drinks in their hands still brings up feelings of alienation as well as bad memories of past reckless behavior. My unease clearly makes others uneasy. And I end up feeling bad about that, too. None of this is a recipe for holiday cheer.
Like many people in sobriety, I tend to seek out other nondrinkers in social settings, especially as imbibing guests start to get a little tipsy. Inviting a gaggle of teetotalers to a party levels the drinking field.Mindy Gold-Banks, a clinical professional counselor who has specialized in addiction for 25 years with Advance Counseling Services in Chicago, says hosts should focus on creating an atmosphere of inclusion.
She then makes me something fun, like crushed mint and a dash of ground harissa in club soda with ice. These quiet acts make me feel safe, loved and respected while they happily enjoy their evening libation.
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