The fantasy of a sexual revolution already fought and won is undone by pretty much any available statistic on straight women’s experiences of sex. There are the heart-rending numbers revealing the prevalence of faked orgasms and the yawning orgasm gap between men and women. That is to say nothing of women’s all-too-common reports of sexual problems including pain, fear, guilt, shame, and diminished arousal. Even more fundamental than the many issues that arise for women during sex is the desire, or lack thereof, to have it in the first place.
between men and women. That is to say nothing of women’s all-too-common reports of sexual problems including pain, fear, guilt, shame, and diminished arousal. Even more fundamental than the many issues that arise for women during sex is the desire, or lack thereof, to have it in the first place.
As Rowland charts the problem for heterosexual women, it becomes clear that the “pleasure gap” does not simply refer to sexual disparities between genders, but also “the separations that so often exist within ourselves: between mind and body, or behavior and emotion, or between our external actions and our internal feelings.”This is what happens when we cede our private lives to the market, when we don’t have quality sex education, when we shame our bodies, and when we teach women to stay small.
JEZEBEL: Let’s start by talking about the problems identified in your book—not just low desire, but the absence of pleasure, the presence of shame. How would you characterize the current state of things when it comes to straight women and sex?female desire and pleasure to an unprecedented degree.
That was one of the real hooks for me in getting interested in this subject. The way that medicine and science and popular culture has theorized desire has shifted so wildly just over the course of the 20th century. I am by no means suggesting that the 1950s is a healthy, normative point of comparison, but just for the sake of illustration: in the 1950s, women’s desires were thought to be safely contained within the bounds of domesticity.
The pharmaceutical industry has tried to wade into this apparent discrepancy in terms of what’s taking place in the mind and what’s taking place in the body, but because medicine tends to be pegged to a biologic process and there is no established linkage between desire in any aspect of human biology, they continually come up short.
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