How you may be sabotaging your child's chance to process and understand new information - and what you can do to turn things around.
As preschoolers’ brains develop, they need more processing time than adults do. When asked a question, they need time to think about what the question means, process an answer to it, form words to communicate their answer, and verbalize it. When parents or teachers fill the silence and follow up with a second question, we force our kids to start the process all over again from the beginning.educator Mary Budd Rowe, Ph.D., called this “wait time” in the classroom.
The simple technique of pausing makes our job as parents easier. Because when we can take the time to enact a four-beat pause , we:don’t answer the question we think our kids are askinggive our preschooler time to gather his or her thoughts and verbalize them.Implementing a pause seems unrealistic at first. After all, four beats is a long time to wait for a response, especially in a world where we’re used to rushing around trying to fit everything in.
and the time to think and absorb what is being asked of them, so they can use the right words to give us insight into what they’re thinking—is priceless. A little practice goes a long way:Wait for an answer, and slowly count to four, Mississippi style.One of the greatest benefits of the pause is that it gives a child a chance to process new, confusing, or difficult information, and fully understand it.
The pause is the tool, but it’s how we use the tool that makes all the difference. We need to be conscious of our body language and what we say when we interact. Being intentional with the pause brings positive outcomes for our kids and ourselves.What we choose to say and how we say it after we pause are both important. Sometimes we can pause and say nothing. We should use body language, like leaning in to our preschoolers and looking into their eyes.
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