We often run into trouble when we assume that for us to be right, other people have to be wrong. There's another way.
You’ll be better at navigating difficult conversations and relationships if you remember that your experiences are subjective, not objective.Be curious about other people’s perspectives, especially if they’re different than yours.You read that title right. You’re right about everything! You’re right about which restaurant has the best pizza. You’re right about who is the hottest celebrity. And you’re right about who is going to win the playoffs. I’ll take it one step further.
If I make you a papaya salad with Thai chiles, would you think it’s spicy? It depends on how comfortable you are with spice. If you grew up on mayo sandwiches and mac & cheese, you’ll probably say it’s spicy. If you grew up on tamales and hot salsa, probably not. That means the dish I cooked for you is both spicy and not spicy, depending on your unique culinary history.
Another example: If I told you that I pay $1,200 in rent for a small, two-bedroom apartment, do you think it’s cheap or expensive? It depends where you live. If you’re from a small town in the Midwest you probably think I should stop wasting my money. If you’re from a West Coast metropolis, you probably think I should keep a deal like this as long as I can. So my apartment is simultaneously too expensive and extremely affordable, depending on where you’re from.
Most people think about right and wrong as a dichotomy, either I’m right or I’m wrong, or you’re right or you’re wrong. But that’s not the only way problems work. Instead of just two possibilities, problems can be divided into four categories.
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